My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
