Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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