dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
A+ Viking dick
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
