he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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