I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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