come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
