The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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