I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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