the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Someone signed my nipple.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
