U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
