then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
