Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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