your parents love me but you hate me
I look better un-naked...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
