Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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