like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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