i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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