I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
