i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
