He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So much rum. So many feels.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.