woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here