Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters