"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
