You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize