Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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