DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I got inside last night via doggy door
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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