Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
