Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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