there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
