I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
this is an emotional support booty call
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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