He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
