I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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