I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
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He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize