a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
