Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
