I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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