Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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