like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm always down for nudity.
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