i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize