I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
