It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Drunk is a universal language darling
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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