are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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