I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize