OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
