you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
