Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
