I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize