pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
