lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
