you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
