all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
