If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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