Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
