I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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