Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it's like heaven, but drunker
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
