"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
