no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
