I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
