): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
