Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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