so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
