belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
