Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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