She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
