You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
