3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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