Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
well you can't waste a boner
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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