So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Too much gin, very little bucket
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
