Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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